I was faking it…

one woman’s search for orgasm

Posts Tagged ‘science

John or Jane: who’s hornier?

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Do boys really want it more than girls?

Like, duh, of course they do.

At least that was what I would have said if anyone had asked me that question as a teenager and was first beginning to navigate the opposite sex–or should I say, navigate the enemy.

At that time, boys were things that me and my girlfriends had crushes on but never dared get too close, partly because we were too shy to get past the blushing-face phase of the conversation, and partly because of the fear that if we ever wound up alone with one of them, they would morph into an eight-armed-incredible hulk-monstrosity that would consume our fragile bodies whole.

Sure, we were curious about sex, but we weren’t boys.  Boys wanted it so bad they couldn’t be trusted—that was just a fact of life—like chin pimples and math homework.

Thus, it’s not surprising to read the findings of currant ‘scientific’ studies: women have lower libidos than their male partners  and suffer, en masse, from disorders such as FOD. Right?

Naomi Wolf doesn’t seem to think so. In Promiscuities she debunks this ‘fact’, stating that “women have been considered more carnal than men for most of the record of Judeo-Christian history [and] that the belief  women want sex less than men is only over two centuries old” (p.142).

witch_burn1

the only way to tame a woman's libido, old school-style

Girls were the horny ones?  For someone who spent her entire adolescence trying to ward off boys, I found this as quite the shocker when I read this a couple days ago—but not in a bad way. 

“I want to see you wearing nothing but saran wrap,” whispered Steve as I passed by him in my high school corridor.  Steve was a popular but mean boy in my grade.

Though they were only words, it felt like he’d grabbed my butt or slipped his hand up my shirt.  My face turned bright red as I hurried off in the opposite direction.  Sex was something scary to me and he probably knew that.

Looking back on that time in my life, however, I also remember that the idea of sex excited me.

It was around that same time that I discovered The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer,  a fictional account of a young teenage girl’s illicit sexual activities. I spent many nights lying in my bed fantasizing about doing the things that she did, sneaking off to a bar and giving oral sex to a strange guy in the middle of the night. Of course, I never talked to anyone about those thoughts—not even my best friend—because girls weren’t supposed to think that way. That was what boys did.

I wonder what might have happened if I hadn’t been so embarrassed about my emerging sexual desires?  Sure, I’m glad I never ran off to the local Hells Angels bar but I would have liked to have replied back to Steve with a something more than tight lips and down cast eyes.

“Throw in some Cool-whip and I’m there, baby.”

I would have loved to see his reaction at hearing words like those come out of one of the quiet, ‘good’ girl’s mouth.

Obsession with the female orgasm

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According to a recently released study, covered in the Jan 18 Times article, Wealthy men give woman more orgasms, female orgasms are evolutionary adaptations that program women to seek out the most capable protector and provider as their mates—with rich men obviously representing the most powerful males in our society.

tol-logoOf course, the problem with this research, as is so carefully laid out in Elisabeth Lloyd’s The case of the female orgasm (see my previous post on this topic) is that none of the sex reported in this research specified whether the stated orgasms were the result of assisted or unassisted sex.

Considering that most women rarely orgasm through intercourse alone, its very likely that all those rich man orgasms being reported were not achieved through penal penetration alone.  And if that is the case, then the orgasm in fact has nothing to do with reproduction and the whole evolutionary argument goes out the window.

Which causes me to wonder why evolutionary scientists are so obsessed with proving that the female gender is nothing more than needy, survival-based, simpletons capable of doing little more than follow the orders dictated by their genes?
Or as they article’s author, Jonathan Leake, puts it ‘gold diggers’