I was faking it…

one woman’s search for orgasm

What’s harder to find than the ‘G’ spot?

with 6 comments

A wonderful new possibility occurred to me: maybe I already had an orgasm and I just didn’t know it?  That would sure be an easy way to avoid facing up the deep psychological problems that my inability to orgasm is supposedly rooted in (according to FOD)

Of course, in order to find out if I’ve had one, I need to figure out what exactly what ‘one’ looks and feels like.

I thought that would be a simple enough task, but then I also thought that Loni Anderson was the most beautiful woman in the world when I was 13.

loni-anderson-015The problem is that the only definitions of female orgasms I could find fall into what I call the ambiguous, the flakey, and the technical.

1. The Ambiguous: a female orgasm is “the climax of sensual feeling” (source).

A deep waft of coffee aroma filled my nose, climaxing in release of the warm liquid into my oral cavity yesterday afternoon. Was that an orgasm? And if so, should I feel ashamed for doing it in a public place?

2. The Flakey: a female orgasms is “the earth moving” (source).

I thought that only happened during spiritual experiences–usually involving an apparition of the virgin Mary or a new-age mystic. 

3. The Scientific: a female orgasm is “Clonic contraction of pelvic and abdominal muscles initiated by a spinal reflex” (source).

I recently took up pilates—I think that may have been the third move we did.

Seeing as I have the coffee and ab crunches done, I guess all I need to do to make sure I’ve experienced an orgasm is to start building my crystal and incense collection, or  take my grandmother’s advice and start going to Sunday Mass.  At least now I finally understand why she’s such a devote Catholic.

On the other hand, maybe I just need to find a better definition.


6 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. The relationships section of my blog might help you…

    There is a book called: Female Ejaculation & The G-Spot that is pretty amazing. I reference that books a lot when I write advice articles to men on giving women better orgasms.


    January 18, 2009 at 1:46 am

  2. Thanks for the advice savior, I’m definetly interested in stocking up on sex-books. I just blew $60 on amazon yesterday morning…seems all the good books on the subject get stolen from the libraries.

    I’ll have to add that one to my next order!



    January 18, 2009 at 9:52 pm

  3. No problem…

    I found to many viruses when I was trying to do legitimate sex research online so I started to just buy all my books so that I could always have them around for research/reference when needed.

    After 6 years i’ve got 178 books and most of them came from Amazon.com.

    Amazon is my favorite place to shop 🙂


    January 18, 2009 at 9:55 pm

  4. wicked.


    January 18, 2009 at 10:01 pm

  5. You could always get my free course on A, C and G spot orgasms. These are techniques that I actually do and make women cum with.

    It’s easy to confirm a G spot orgasm: Her vagina will contract around your fingers or penis, push it out and she will squirt all over you and the bed.

    Harry Mete

    January 26, 2009 at 4:41 am

  6. Try the A spot orgasm. The A spot is 3-4 inches on the front wall of the vagina. First you “train it” to orgasm with your middle finger, then you have sex.

    Harry Mete


    January 26, 2009 at 6:14 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: